There's lots of talk (on newspaper headlines, on the television) about the levies that burst: how warnings were ignored, how a particular one had been ailing since 1967. This is a sadly familiar (Katrina) woe, and I really don't get why governments don't take nature more seriously - there must be some political expediency there that a polisci person could explain to me, but I don't see it! There's also a great deal of talk about the over-development of the coasts - building projects that should have never taken place because they were so clearly in a flood zone. Many of those affected are retirees (many of those British) who bought beautiful new little homes "right on the water." So, talk of rezoning and tightening things. The economic devastation (the crops, the livestock, even the oysters are being discussed) is just now starting to be added up - pretty huge.
Which brings up another point: making friends in France. About two months I had written that, for the large part, the French are a "slow burn" about friendship: takes a long time, but once you're friends, you're friends for good. So, after this vacation, when it really was just the five of us bumping around in the world, I am taking stock of the friends situation. We are on very friendly terms with all of the people we see daily: Mac is having lengthier and lengthier conversations with the boulangère and the patron of the place where he takes his afternoon coffee (no, he can't quit anytime he wants), and even our coiffeur across the street stopped us in the street today to let us know about a television show that will be on tomorrow night featuring not just Brittany (yea!) but Josselin (double yea!) (actually, we're ridiculously excited about watching this - but that's tomorrow night). Everybody is really nice, including the parents of the kids' friends at school. So should we be the ones to invite a little friend over, or do we wait to be invited? And why am I even fretting about this? I should go with my gut and ask someone over when the moment strikes. And yet, I hesitate. The kids have no eagerness to have friends over, which I guess I understand - they seem to get along great with their little buds at school (I love seeing Iris in the morning exchange kisses with her little girlfriends, and Eleanor is starting to chat in some kind of toddler talk with her little friends), but nope, no desires for playdates. So there's that. And then, there's just this feeling that that would cross some enormous line. There's a father who picks up and drops off his kids every day that we call "le père distingué" (the distinguished father, because he looks really distinguished), and he shook Mac's hand about three weeks ago and we were all excited. But when I asked him how his vacation was, he looked really uncomfortable - clearly something private. You should be laughing at me: I am infinitely more comfortable with the codes of medieval art history than with those of modern human relations here in France. I can't even tell you how the French friends that I do have in Paris became my friends - they just are. But I can't seem to get to that "these people are just our friends" stage with any of the kids' parents. I'm not unhappy about this, just puzzled. And there's this strange symmetrical realization I had today: I love Greencastle because of the amazing friends we have there - there is absolutely nothing in the town itself that would hold me there otherwise. I love Josselin, and I mean every stone and every path and every street, because of the town, not because of any close friendships (although we're all crazy about our friends on the island). There's also something truly wonderful about this time away being just the five of us: it'll be unique in the History of Us and I relish spending this time with the kids and with Mac - it's ours, all ours, thus far and part of me just loves that. So, there you have it: completely inconclusive thoughts about making friends in France. There are no sports teams active (the judo club is closed), and we haven't really bumped into anyone in town. Everyone is nice, and we love our "bonjour" moments and that may just have to be that.
We spoke with Oliver's teacher today and were stunned at the news: apparently he's reading really well in French (!!!) and clearly understands what he's reading. Why he's doing that before he's speaking is a complete mystery to me (and seemed to be a surprise to his teacher as well). She said that he was doing really well in math (including being able to say the numbers out loud in French) and that he was really applying himself. This from the kid who resists going to school because he'd rather catch leprechauns or read Harry Potter! I am so proud of him!!! My heart always tightens a little bit when I see him in the morning hunch up his shoulders before entering the fray of kids who are waiting for the school doors to open in the courtyard (it is really, really loud in that courtyard of kids!) - he's doing the kid equivalent of girding his loins (a phrase he would just love if I ever used it in front of him) and I always admire how much courage it must take to enter a courtyard full of rowdy kids whom you don't really understand. Except that he seems to be understanding things. What are the markers of success here? that Oliver make friends that we can invite over? that he learns/wants to speak French with me? I know what the answer is, the answer is that he be happy. And he clearly seemed proud of himself today - in fact, he talked for quite a bit about how in French "on the page, which I like better" the words have to work together (is he talking about number/gender agreement? verb subject agreement?). I could see Oliver being interested in grammar, in how language works. One of the most surprising curiosities he had emerged several weeks ago when he said "I want to know how to cuss in French." !!! we asked him why and his answer was awesome: that cuss words are immediately understood, that they're strong. Definitely the power of language at work here.
I know they will catch that leprechaun!
ReplyDelete-Lindi
Thoughts on friendship –the introvert in me says maybe its fine to not cross that line..maybe its because the kids on some level know they won’t be there forever?
ReplyDeleteLeprechauns’ –I love leprechauns—they are kind of like Irish garden gnomes! Of course German folklore is chock full of leprechaun-like creatures: Kobolde, Klabautermännchen, Wichtel, Heinzelmännchen etc etc—here’s the exhaustive English wiki article on “Kobold”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobold